Anything For You
by axelkairi
Summary: I'm not a princess, and it's too late for you and your white horse to come around. But what if his horse is a bit more red than white? Can this redheaded Not-So-Prince Charming save me from my lonely tower? Or will he just knock it down? Axel/OC Jaden
1. Chapter 1: White Horse

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or, sadly, Axel.**

A/N: I'm making this story for jaden_hale_f, and she is likewise making one for me that I'm very excited about. So give credit for this story to both of us. The idea is hers, but the writing is mine. Same with her Jasper/OC story that will soon be coming/is out. Hope you like!

Song used: White Horse - Taylor Swift

**Anything For You**

**Chapter One**

"All I want is you. Do you love me?"

Those words sound so sweet, don't they? What would you say if someone said that to you? Of course I do. I want you, too. Always.

But my only answer was silence. Because those words were coming from my father, Shane, as I liked to refer to him when he wasn't around. Too his face, however, I called him Papa. Sometimes Daddy. Occasionally Shane. He usually told me what to call him.

Right now was a situation in which I was supposed to call him Shane. I mean, he might feel bad if the young woman he was currently undressing called him Papa. And we certainly couldn't have that, now, could we?

He stood behind me, whispering in my ear, his rough hands roaming over my naked body, while he was completely clothed, save for his typical red flannel button-down shirt. He did still, however, wear his faded green baseball cap. Points for that, I suppose.

His hands traveled down from my shoulders, carressing my breasts, until they came to rest at my hips, where he roughly pulled me against him, his hot breath in my ear. "Did you hear what I said, Jaden?" he growled. "I asked you a question. Do you love me?"

I tried my best not to hesitate. I should've been used to this by now, and been able to fake it. But ever since my sister left for college, and gotten herself out of this hellhole, all his attention had been focused on me, and no matter how hard I tried to make myself look unattractive to him, he still found something about me to feed his insatiable sex craze.

Aren't baggy pants supposed to be unattractive? What about shapeless, extra large shirts? Thick, huge, circle-shaped Harry Potter glasses? Chap stick on your teeth? Chipped nail polish? I even tried to stop shaving down there, but he just pulled me into the shower and did it for me. My skin was still healing from all the nicks at my skin the razor and his lack of care had caused.

Although I always wanted to look my best for school. I wasn't going to let this maniac completely ruin my life, even out of the house. And after a while, he figured this out. He'd pick me up from school, intercept me at the buses, and offer a big smile for my friends, and tell Kairi that he and her dad should get together for poker sometime. Then when we got in the car, he'd mutter something about how he wished I looked more like her, and how he'd like to get his hands on her.

I, of course, pretended not to hear these comments. But they still disgusted me, no matter how much I pushed them out of my mind.

"O-Of course, Pa... Shane," I said, trying my best to sound sexy, not scared. He hated it when I was scared. Said it made him feel bad. Like he was doing something he shouldn't. Which he was. But I couldn't say that.

He didn't move. That wasn't a good sign. "Now why don't I believe you?" he asked, his tone almost conversational.

I froze, my eyes wide. I tried my best not to shake from fear, but only one thought was racing through my head, bouncing back and forth between the walls of my mind:

_He's gonna hurt me._

"I-I-I don't -" I gasped and let out a short cry as he pushed me away from him hard, suddenly. He grabbed my wrist and spun me around, then slapped me across the face. I fell to my knees, him having let go of me - finally - and tried to breathe.

"Say it like you mean it," he told me, the desire nearly absent from his voice, replaced by a commanding tone. Well, what else was to be expected? I was his slave, his doll, and he could play with me however he wanted. His house, his rules, that was what he said. And his rules were spread 'em or lose 'em.

"I love you, Shane," I whispered, keeping all traces of emotion out of my voice. I looked away from his hands as they traveled to his waist, unbuttoning his pants and pulling the zipper down, slowly. I didn't look at his eyes, though, either. He told me he didn't like that. Said I wasn't a good enough actress yet. Meaning I couldn't keep the fear and hurt out of my eyes, and he didn't want to look at them.

He smirked and walked forward, his pants falling to the ground as he shook them off carelessly. "That's more like it," he said huskily, coming closer and closer.

I closed my eyes and turned my head away slightly, so he wouldn't see the one tear rolling down my cheek. I let reality fall away from me and tried my hardest to leave this place, to run away to the recesses of my mind, until tomorrow came, when I could finally truly escape, if only for a little while.

_I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale._

I fixed my pale blue fringe scarf, pulling it tighter around my neck, before shutting my locker. I tried to cover up my self-consciousness, and felt I had been doing well for the first half of the day. No one seemed to notice anything wrong. Just like always.

My friends knew my dad got angry sometimes. That he would occasionally hit me. But they had no idea of the lengths of his 'anger'. Because the only bruises they ever saw were the ones that I couldn't possibly hope to cover up. This one was a little more difficult than others, but so far I was managing to hide it. A sick feeling of pride washed over me, which quickly dissipated as I realized my disgust. There was nothing to be proud about. I was lying to my friends about my sexually abusive father. What could be worse?

Kairi and Olette were waiting for me at the base of the stairs. Their lockers were on the first floor, whereas mine was on the second, along with Hayner, Pence, Yuna, and Rikku. Rikku was only a few lockers down from me, and always popped up unnexpectedly to pour her gossip out on me. Yuna usually rescued me, tossing an apologetic smile over her shoulder before herding her blonde best friend to the bathroom, but sometimes she came a little too late, and I actually had to pretend to listen. Hayner and Pence usually hung out with each other, and the three of us would hang out by my locker, and I'd laugh at the appropriate places and add in my two-cents when needed. I was closer to Pence than Hayner, though, and sometimes I would even talk to him about my 'girl problems'. Not anything like that time of the month - I know what you're thinking - just things about how I got so emotional over Desperate Housewives last night, or how I didn't have enough money to buy this really adorable shirt, and things like that.

I smiled back at them, putting on my life-is-great face, and they seemed to buy it. Like they always did. But I didn't blame them for their ignorance. In fact, I envied them for it. I still didn't know Olette too well, but I hoped that over time we could become great friends. Maybe we three could go to the mall together this weekend. That is, if Shane would let me.

"Hey!" Kairi said as I stepped down from the last stair. Her eyes dropped from mine to the scarf, then back again. "I _love_ your scarf! Where'd you get it?"

_My dead mom's closet._ "Oh, it was just lying around. I guess I forgot I bought it!" I laughed, and they joined in, with no idea what was underneath the old yet fashionable scarf.

We caught our breath and Kairi turned to Olette. "Hey, 'Lette, can you go tell Sora we'll be a minute? I have to talk to Jaden about you know what." She winked and giggled a little.

Olette laughed a little and nodded. "'Kay," she said, turning and walking swiftly down the hall. "Don't take too long!" she called over her shoulder before turning the corner and disappearing.

Kairi immediately locked eyes with me, her expression completely serious. I knew then that she had seen through my ruse, and was finally going to bring it to my attention. "Jaden, we need to talk," she said, her eyes determined but concerned.

Maybe it wasn't what I thought it was. I tried to keep playing my game. "Okay...? What about?"

She jutted out her lower jaw, and I knew she didn't believe me. "What's under that scarf?"

I swallowed and started walking away. "There's nothing, Kairi, it's just a cute scarf."

Kairi started following me. "I don't believe -"

_"Why don't I believe -"_

I whirled around to face her, trying to rid his voice from my head. "Why can't you just let it go?" I snapped, and she stopped where she stood, her eyes wide in surprise. "Geez, Kairi, you don't have to know _everything!_ I don't want to tell you, so just leave me alone!"

I spun around, pounding down the hallway, ignoring the guilt in the back of my mind telling me to turn back and apologize.

_I was a dreamer before you went and let me down._

But of course, my exit had to be ruined. Not even two steps after turning the corner and leaving Kairi to swallow my dust, I collided with a hard body and stumbled back a few steps, shuffling the books in my hands to keep them from falling to the ground. I jerked my head up to see who had so rudely slammed themselves into me - because it was obviously not my fault, as they should have been watching where they were going - and found myself struck by surprise.

I'd never seen this... guy? man? boy? before. He wasn't really a guy; he looked too mature, almost too old, to be called a guy. Man? No, he wasn't _that_ old. A Senior, maybe? And boy? Definately not. No, one swift glance at this hunk of hottness would blow away any thoughts of 'boys'.

He was tall, at least a head taller than me, and he was as skinny as any emo skater kid in skinny jeans you'd see on the street. His bright green eyes were framed by long dark lashes and thick black lines of eyeliner. He was as pale as Paine, maybe even more so, and his hair was like a beacon. The fire engine red color was absolutely impossible - _did he mix Kool-Aid with his conditioner?_ - and set off his eyes even more than his skin and eyeliner by themselves. He wore tight, dark wash jeans with faded red Converse, and a black shirt with a little fire thing giving a cocky grin. His black hoodie fell over his frame, looking a size too big on his thin body. One hand still remained in his pocket, while the other was on the wall, holding himself up as he straightened himself, blinking from surprise.

"Whoa," he said, then laughed a little, his eyes meeting mine. We stared at each other for a while. Our eyes met, shook hands, got together for coffee, and laughed over dinner. They could've had hot, exotic sex by the time I looked away, blushing. He laughed a little, nervously, apparently feeling the same thing I had. "Are you alright?"

I nodded and made a sound of affirmation before rushing off, ignoring his voice trying to call me back. I walked quickly, making elaborate turns and going in crazy directions, in case he was following me.

To my relief, when I turned around to lean against a wall and catch my breath, he wasn't anywhere in sight. I sighed, and found myself unable to force myself to go to lunch. I blinked slowly and threw my sack lunch away in the trash can. I knew I wasn't going to be able to eat today. Not with those green eyes staring at me, like they could see right through, asking:

_"What does he do to you?"_

_Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around._


	2. Chapter 2: Bring Me To Life

**Disclaimer: I don't own own Kingdom Hearts. =(**

A/N: Well, here's chapter two! Hope you like so far!

Song used: Bring Me To Life - Evanescence

**Anything For You**

**Chapter Two**

The half hour for lunch passed achingly slow. I'd picked myself up and made my way up the stairs again, making sure to use a different set of stairs than before - in case Kairi was still waiting where she had been to ambush me again, as I didn't doubt she would - and stood in the bathroom, finding ways to busy myself. Sometimes I'd sit on the toilet when my legs got tired, or reapply my makeup when anyone came in so as not to look weird. After a while I made a quick detour to my locker to grab a book I had to read for English and read it for a bit. I realized after nearly a half hour that I'd been reading the same paragraph over and over and couldn't even remember a single sentence.

Though most of the time, when I wasn't pacing or trying to make myself laugh, I found myself staring in the mirror. And not once did I see something I liked. I only saw how things had changed, how the were and what they'd become. Like my eyes. I could remember a time when they laughed, when _I_ laughed. My eyes would smile with me when my mouth did. But now the eyes that used to shine a beautiful chocolate color were dull and flat, almost dead. They'd seen things that they shouldn't, and wished they didn't.

My lips used to adore the shiny pink lip gloss I lathered on. But now, with all the bruises and cuts from forced and hard kisses, they screamed in agony every time I touched Chap Stick to them. My teeth had become sensitive from grinding them against each other. My thumb was nearly mangled by how much I'd chew on it when I was nervous. My skin was suffering, and I had to use globs of foundation and concealer to hide it. The bags under my eyes were hidden by a sheer highlight. My blonde hair had lost its luster and become a sort of dirty blonde color. There were probably a few stress-induced gray hairs in there somewhere.

And no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't stop fiddling with that stupid scarf.

I could feel the tears gathering in my eyes and I fixed it in the mirror, and my vision blurred. I clenched my teeth together, the pain making me tear up even more, and tore the scarf off in a fit of fury, letting out an "argh!" through my teeth.

The handprints and bruises screamed at me, laughed at me, reminding me of his passion. Or at least, that's what _he_ liked to call it. What kind of sick person actually chokes someone during sex? Apparently Shane.

I swallowed, but it was hard. I could still feel his hands clamped around my throat. I shivered and wrapped my arms around my waist, giving myself a hug. No one else would.

The bell rang, though the sound was muffled through the thick wood of the door. I sniffled and wiped my eyes, thankful that my mascara was waterproof. Once I was satisfied, I opened the door and passed my locker, since my next class was gym.

I noticed Rikku glancing at me, her expressino concerned, and pretended I didn't see her. Kairi probably talked to her, and I really didn't want to discuss what I'd said, or how I reacted.

Nevertheless, Rikku pushed herself through the crowd and grabbed my arm, tugging me out of the slew of people and over to a corner next to a classroom door.

"Rikku, what the hell?" I asked, defaulting to anger. It was better than sadness.

She gave me a look that said she knew. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay, Jaden." She blinked and leaned down a little, unconsciously reminding me of how short I was. "Is everything okay?"

I decided to take the high road, and try to keep my temper under control. Maybe she'd think nothing was wrong, and finally leave it alone. "Yeah, everything's fine," I answered. "Why?"

She blinked, as if not expecting my reaction. Good, I was fooling her. "Well, Kairi said -"

"Oh, Kairi." I let my face fall and looked down at the ground. I wasn't really faking it then. "Yeah, I sorta blew up in her face a little bit ago. Can you tell her I'm sorry? I have to go to class, but I'll find talk to her later, okay?" I turned around and melded back into the crowd, barely catching her surprised "O-Okay!"

I sighed and walked as fast as I could, avoiding all eyes on me. But suddenly I had the feeling of someone staring at me. I looked around, trying not to trip on anyone, and found him.

It was the guy from the hallway near the cafeteria. His eyes seemed to swirl with color, his hair catching the rays of sunlight from the window at the end of the hall. He stood there, leaning against the wall, staring into my eyes, completely ignoring the blonde girl smiling at him. When he didn't respond to her, she sighed, shrugged, and made her way a few steps over to the guy with emo-est hair in the whole school, Zexion I think it was. He showed no interest, but at least uttered a word or two occasionally, and apparently that was enough for her.

The redhead blinked slowly, but I still felt his gaze, as if he was looking at me with more than just his eyes. The corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile, and he raised his eyebrow slightly, lifting his hand in a small wave.

I blushed and looked away, then looked back. He was still there, looking at me, his hand drifting back to his side, though slowly, as if he was disappointed. I smiled back, though it probably looked more like baring my teeth nervously, and waved back, laughing a little to myself. I didn't even know who he was, and here I was, acting as if we were friends.

His smile grew and he nodded to me, then walked into the crowd, lost from my sight.

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors?_

For the first time in my life, I was thankful that I didn't have any close friends in my gym class. No one here would know about my outburst, and I wouldn't have to explain myself to anyone.

Which was perfect, considering I didn't want to explain to anyone why I was currently layering foundation and concealer onto my neck. I knew Mr. Shearing wouldn't let me wear a scarf, so I would just have to cover it up the best I could with makeup. Besides, it would only be for a little under forty-five minutes, right? And no one would care enough to notice.

"Hey, uh, Jaden?" I think that was Rinoa, Leon's girlfriend. She and Selphie talked sometimes, but Selphie never invited her to any parties. She was sweet and all, but none of us were really close to her. Well, except Leon of course, and she insisted on calling him by his old name, Squall. I thought it was sort of cute, but he always got mad whenever anyone else called him that.

I cleared my throat before I answered. I couldn't help tearing up when I touched the bruises, and hoped it wouldn't show in my voice. "Yeah?" I asked, sounding as normal as possible.

"Um, Mr. Shearing told me to get you out there. He's starting to get sort of annoyed."

Crap, I'd have to hurry and finish. "Okay, tell him I'll be right out." No, he wouldn't accept that. "Actually, yeah, tell him that, and if he keeps getting mad, tell him I'm on my period."

Rinoa laughed at that. "Yeah, that'll shut him up," she said, and left.

Once the door shut, I walked out of the stall to check myself in the mirrors above the sinks. Well, it was a pretty good job for working by a compact mirror. I covered it lightly with powder so it looked like my skin tone, then stuffed my purse in my locker. I sighed, gathering courage, then stepped out the door, walked down the short hallway, and walked inside the gym.

I stopped. Because right there, looking over Mr. Shearing's shoulder, were those dazzling green eyes.

He was leaning against the wall (that seemed to be typical for him), his arms crossed, once again ignoring the blonde girl. This time she was pushier, and kept talking, occasionally putting her hand on his arm. He flinched, but only slightly, and she seemed to pretend not to notice. He rolled his eyes and turned his head to the door, then his eyes caught mine.

All the courage I'd built up flew away out the door. Perfect. The one guy who seemed to see right through me was in _this_ class, where all I had to cover up my bruises was makeup.

His eyes dropped to my neck, and his eyebrows furrowed, his eyes narrowing. He looked up at me again, his expression constant. He closed his eyes and turned his head, only opening them when he was no longer facing me.

I felt a pang somewhere inside me, and bit my lip, holding back a wince. Great, he obviously knew what was wrong with me. And the worst part was:

He was going to ignore it.

I bowed my head, moving to the other side of the student body and sat down, avoiding Mr. Shearing's annoyed gaze. He sighed and made a mark on his clipboard, then set it down on the foldable desk next to him. He sat in his foldable metal chair, his body too large to get up (why is that all gym teachers are fat?), and explained the rules of capture the flag to us for the third time this week.

Finally, after five long minutes of zoning out and trying to pretend the redheaded green-eyed guy wasn't there, Mr. Shearing split us up: girls on the blue line, boys on the red. He walked in front of each of us, counting us off, giving us either the number one or two. All the twos went to the left, ones went to the right. The girls were counted off quickly, some squealing with joy at the fact that they got on the same team as their friends - even though they'd obviously planned it out by standing on the sides of someone they hardly knew the name of to get the same number - while some others groaned in dissatisfaction as their friends were carted off to the other side of the gym.

Me, I made no noise, simply a soft breath as I was counted a two, and walked to the left. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time, and it seemed that everything was happening in slow motion. That walk seemed to take forever. His eyes burned through my back, but when I reached the back of the room and turned around, he wasn't looking at me.

I narrowed my eyes, but brushed it off, and looked away from him, instead focusing on the wall on the opposide side of the room. I didn't know this guy from anywhere, so why was it such a big deal if he looked at me? Maybe he thought I was cute. Ha, that was a laugh. Me, cute? Dirty blonde hair, pasty pale skin, dead brown eyes, a skinny body and a small chest. Not what most would consider cute.

I looked up as I noticed someone walking towards me. And, just my luck, my eyes met with green and red. I blinked and found myself unable to speak, even when he took his place next to me, leaning against the wall. His shoulder and arm were pressed between the white brick and his body, both hands in his pockets. He wore black jean shorts with a belt and chains hanging from various places, and the baggy pants made his faded red Converse seem tiny in comparison, like he should be wearing those giant Vans that his friends wore. A worn gray t-shirt with one sleeve violently ripped off completed the ensemble, giving off the classic down-with-society vibe.

I looked away, concentrating on the wall in front of me yet again, but could still feel his eyes on me. I sighed, tapping my foot, chewing on my lip, turned my head and chomped on my thumb discreetly, until I couldn't take it anymore. I whipped around, put my hand on my hip and stared him in the eyes. "Why do you keep _looking_ at me like that?" I asked.

He blinked, his eyebrows raising slightly. Had he ever heard me talk before? "You're something to look at," he shrugged. His voice wasn't incredibly masculine, but it wasn't feminine, either. A man's voice, though, definately. It gave me a shiver, and I didn't quite know why.

I raised an eyebrow, trying to cover up my strange reaction to him. "Thanks?" I said, unsure if that was a compliment or insult. I turned away, watching the other team strategize and whisper to each other before Mr. Shearing told us that the game would begin.

I just stayed at the back, near the flag, enjoying the lazy time in the beginning of the game when everyone was sizing everyone else up, using tiny tricks to drive their opponent crazy.

"What's your name?" the redhead asked, still staring at me. He hadn't looked away that entire time.

"Jaden," I answered, not yet gracing him with the knowledge of my last name. I turned my head to him, meeting his eyes. "Yours?"

"Axel," he said, smirking. He left out his last name, too.

I gave him an expectant look, hoping he'd catch it, but he only smiled wider, raising an eyebrow as he did so. I sighed, crossing my arms. "Don't you have a last name?" I asked, then wondered why I was being so mean to him. I could hear it in my tone: I didn't like him. But why not? I had no reason to dislike him.

"Don't you?" he countered, pushing himself off the wall and took a step toward me, his hands still in pockets.

I didn't have an answer to that. I still didn't want to tell him my last name, and I wasn't going to play into his little attack and defend game. I set my jaw and turned away again, glancing at the clock. Great, still had twenty minutes left of this crap.

Axel laughed, and took a few lazy steps toward me. "Well, then, I suppose I don't have a last name," he said, a smile on his face. He stopped next to me, leaning down a little toward me. He suddenly stuck his hand out to tag a passing opponent, but didn't even give them a glance as they groaned and went to 'jail'.

I cocked my head in his direction and looked out the corners of my eyes at him. "Do you really have to do that?" I asked. "It makes me feel short."

He laughed at that as well. "But you _are_ short," he replied, turning so he wasn't facing me anymore, though he still looked at me from the corners of his eyes. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

The action looked strange on him, same with the way he was standing. I raised my eyebrow at him, then furrowed them. "Are you mocking me?" I asked incredulously. How old was he, five?

He gave me a wide, toothy smile, his shoulders shaking in silent laughter.

I huffed and slammed my fists against my sides, stomping away from him and into the battlefield, trying to ignore the sound of his laughter.

I busied myself with the game for a while, protecting the flag like it was the very key to humanity's salvation, and I don't believe I ever let anyone through.

That is, until I lost my focus long enough to take another glance into those emerald eyes. I'd been able to feel his eyes on me for the last fifteen minutes, and I wasn't sure if it made me feel uncomfortable, annoyed, or pleased.

And as I tried to figure it out, something - some_one_ - slammed hard into my side. I stumbled for a step or two, but when I found I couldn't do a thing to stop it, I let myself fall, closing my eyes tightly, preparing for the impact.

And then I knew I was high. On ecstasy. Because the floor had never felt as soft as it had right then.

I turned my head, opening my eyes, and saw that I had not in fact landed on the floor - and silently thanked god that I wasn't high without knowing about it. His green eyes stared into mine, though his cocky expression was replaced with one of shocked concern. He blinked, twice, before speaking. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice quiet.

My face felt hot, as did my back, forehead, upper lip, and shoulder blades. I nodded, moving myself off of him. "Yeah, I'm fine," I assured him, standing up shakily, cursing how klutzy I was. "Thanks for that."

He shrugged, still on the ground. From his position - on his back, propped up on one elbow, legs nearly straight - it looked like he'd slid across the floor in a very Major League Baseball fashion to save me from the floor. He stood, and then I realized he was holding on to the back of a fellow classmates shirt, whom he'd pulled down with him when he 'caught' me. He shoved the kid away from him, pointing to the jail. "You're out," he informed him emotionlessly, then made his way over to me while the kid backed away, staring at him in awe and a little bit of fear.

I laughed a little, nervously, while the game resumed. "That was pretty crazy what you did," I said, smiling on one side of my face.

He smirked, his cocky look returning. "I guess I got caught up in the game," he said. "I mean, gym class gets pretty intense sometimes."

I laughed and elbowed his side, which he proceeded to rub as if it had actually hurt before laughing with me. Maybe he wasn't as weird as he seemed to be.

_Leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb._

Kairi and I spoke during the class after gym, and exchanged apologies. Mine for blowing up in her face, hers for being nosy and not letting it go. After the class, we hugged, made a few jokes, then everything became completely normal. Well, save for a few glances at those green eyes that always seemed to be located near the window, and blonde hair.

The day had passed quickly, and finally seventh bell gave way to the end of the school day. Kairi, Olette, Riku and I were leaving school grounds, making fun of our old, fat, semi-retarded gym teacher. We were passing the chain link fence that separated us from the nearby construction sight when I felt it again.

I turned my head and was immediately met with Axel's eyes. I couldn't stop the smile that crept onto my face, and he smirked back, lifting two fingers in a wave.

I didn't even pay attention to who he was with. I waved back, and didn't look away until I'd turned the corner and was out of his sight.

Kairi raised an eyebrow at me. "Who was that?" she asked.

I smiled wider and looked up at the sky. "Just a guy from school," I answered, and Kairi, having learned something from today, let it drop.

_Save me, save me from the nothing I've become._


	3. Chapter 3: Naked

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.**

A/N: Sorry it's been so long! Read my story Speeding Cars if you wanna know why I've been gone so long. I am in a super good mood, so I need to get this out and started quickly before I find a way to distract myself haha as I seem to do a lot.

Listening to: Geek in the Pink - Jason Mraz. Listen to it if you wanna be a good mood, like me! =D

Song used: Naked - Avril Lavigne

**Anything For You**

**Chapter Three**

**Naked**

I woke up the next morning with a strange feeling. Walking through my room, turning off my alarm clock, getting dressed; it all felt like they were only steps toward something greater. And I knew what that something greater was, even though I was reluctant to admit it.

Today, I'd see Axel again.

My smile wouldn't wipe off my face no matter what I did, which made it very hard to brush my teeth. My electric brush splattered toothpaste all over the mirror, and I laughed and wiped it off with my hand, moving to smear it onto my skirt, but decided against it and dried my hand with a towel. I wanted to look my best for him. I wasn't quite sure why, but I sort of cared what he thought about me. He was the only one who seemed to notice everything about me; I couldn't very well walk near him and have him see toothpaste on my skirt.

I practically skipped through my house, making a dance of everything I did. Putting bread in the toaster and getting butter out from the fridge was now a ballet, complete with spins and pointed toes. I didn't realize how much noise I was making until I turned around and saw Shane, standing in the doorway to the kitchen and rubbing his eyes, frowning.

My heart stopped and dropped in my chest, and the song I had been humming died on the wind. I stood, frozen, butter in my hand, staring at him with wide eyes, waiting for what he would do.

"Jaden," he said slowly, sauntering into the kitchen, half-blind from the sleep in his eyes, "what have I told you about waking me up in the mornings?"

I swallowed. "Um... don't do it?" I replied, guessing, since he'd never actually told me anything about waking him up in the mornings. He did this a lot, though; ask me questions like this even though it had never been mentioned before. I'd gotten better at guessing the right response.

"Exactly." He was still walking, always coming closer, and I stepped back, trying to keep him at bay. "So what's with all the noise? Are you _trying_ to piss me off, or is it just an accident?"

My back hit the counter, and I was helpless as he reached me, standing not even three inches from my body. "I'm sorry," I uttered pathetically. "I'll be quiet."

Shane said nothing. I watched as his eyes took in my form, my figure, my clothes. I'd paid more attention to my appearance that morning, putting on a low-cut green blouse, a lacy white bra that peeked out from under the shirt like a camisole, and a short, cream skirt, and basket-weave sandal wedges. I instantly regretted wearing anything but a chastity belt.

His eyes came back to my face. I had never before seen that look that he gave me then. He seemed almost... sad. "You look so much like your mother," he muttered quietly.

I stopped breathing. That was the sweetest thing he had ever said to me, the most fatherly sentence that had ever passed through his lips. I could hardly remember my mother's face anymore, just her voice, and her name. Carly Grey-Bane. Smart move, mom, not completely giving away your last name. At least you have some sense of separation from this monster before me.

But then everything faded. All the sugar-coated, happy fog cleared away, and I could see his face again, and his eyes held nothing but desire. I knew what was coming, even before he lifted me onto the counter and pushed my legs apart, before he grabbed a fistful of my hair and jerked my head back, before he started kissing and biting my neck.

Something occured to me that morning, as I drifted through the clouds my mind formed in this situation. I could finally see into Shane's head, understand the reasoning behind his sick fascination with me.

He missed my mother. He wanted her back, and I reminded him of her, as did my sister. He wanted her so much that he would do anything to feel her again, even if it was through me. He was in no way justified, but that morning I finally understood him, something I thought would never happen.

It didn't last long, just a few minutes. He dressed himself, shoved the bottle of birth control pills into my hand, and grumbled his way back upstairs. Coming back to reality, I noticed that there were tears in my eyes. Not from what Shane had done, no, I'd grown used to it by now. They were tears for my mother, for my sister, for all the people that had slipped away in my life. There were tears for me, too. I had slipped away long ago, and what was left behind was this lifeless shell, pretending to live on, emotionless and unfeeling.

The only thought I had while I fixed myself in the mirror, sprayed perfume everywhere on my body, and looked into my cold, dead eyes, was:

_Axel will sure have something to look at today._

_I wake up in the morning, put on my face; the one that's gonna get me through another day_

I sniffled as I searched through my locker for my Zoology book, unable to rid myself of the overwhelming sadness I'd felt that morning. I dabbed at my eyes, still stupidly obsessed with my appearance. I hadn't seen Axel all day, which was sort of both a good thing and a bad thing. Good, because he wasn't there to see the horrible events of my life, and therefore ask me about them. Bad, because I knew that secretly, I wanted him to see. I wanted him to know, wanted at least _someone_ to know, because that would mean there was a chance that something could be done about this, a chance that I could be free.

But of course, no one was here. Nobody could set me free. I was trapped, like a bird in a cage, used for amusement by a person who has none. There was no hope for me.

"Hey... Jaden, right?"

I turned, and suddenly hope was standing at my side, a cocky smirk on his lips, a raised red eyebrow over all-seeing green eyes. I didn't know why, but I smiled when I saw him, even though my throat was constricting with sorrow.

"Hey, Axel."

His brow furrowed, as I knew it would the second he caught a glimpse of my face, and his expression turned to concern. "You okay? You look a little..." He left that sentence unfinished, and I was thankful he did. I didn't want to know what I looked like right then.

I let out a small laugh that could hardly qualify as one, and lowered my eyes, turning back to my locker. "You want the truth?" I asked, strangely compelled to tell him everything. As if he didn't already know.

"Depends," he answered. "Do you wanna tell me?"

I looked at him, confused by his question. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged, as if the answer was obvious. "Who cares if I want the truth if you don't want to tell me it?" he explained. "I'll listen to anything you have to say."

For some reason, that statement found its way into my heart. He'd listen to anything I had to say. That meant that he cared, that he'd _listen_, and pay attention, and think about and ponder the things that I told him. Anything that I told him. He'd hear what I wanted to say, and wouldn't just go on with his life afterwards; he'd know more about me from just a sentence.

He really cared.

"I don't know," I said, betraying all I was feeling. "I'm not sure if I want to tell you."

"Why not?" he asked, coming closer. I didn't mind it; in fact, I sort of wanted him close to me. "You can tell me anything, Jaden." He was quiet for a moment, then seemed to blurt out, "I know something's wrong. You can't hide it."

The tardy bell rang, giving my cowardice an excuse to escape. I smiled at him, feigning apology. "That's the bell. I need to get to Zoology."

"Bull shit, you still don't even have your book," Axel retorted. I was surprised by his blunt comment, and turned my body to give him my full attention. My mouth opened to say something, but he cut me off. "You can't hide forever, Jaden."

I narrowed my eyes, immidiately on the offensive. "Who says I'm hiding?" I spat back. "I'm not hiding from anything!"

"Putting on a mask _is_ hiding," he countered. "Don't try to deny it."

I scoffed in disbelief. Who was he to tell me what I was doing? "Quit pretending like you know me," I barked at him. "You don't know the first thing about me! Do you have, like, a good samaritan complex or something? Do you have some undeniable urge to butt into random peoples' lives?"

"You don't even know what you're saying now, do you?" There was laughter in his voice as he said this, and it ticked me off. "You can't lie to me, Jaden," he said, his voice lower, and he took a step toward me. I backed up, but felt the blue door of my locker behind me, and for a moment the school scene before me disappeared, fading into the kitchen at home, Shane coming toward me, knowing that I'd corner myself, so he could -

I blinked, and Axel came back into view. I stared up at him, now so close I could hardly breathe without some part of me touching him, and pleaded with my eyes, praying that he'd leave, that he wouldn't touch me.

Something in his eyes changed, and he furrowed his brow, confusion brushing away all the anger that had settled there. He leaned down toward me, and I shrunk away, pressing my back against the locker door. My eyes flitted to the side, trying to find a way to escape, but he must've seen this, for he grabbed the door, boxing me in. My heart pounded behind my chest, which was so close to his it practically made me burn.

I was forced to look back at his face when I felt his hand on my cheek, his fingertips cool on my skin. His leaf green eyes searched mine, and then he spoke. "What are you so afraid of?" he asked quietly.

Speechless, I couldn't answer right away. I just stood there, practically shaking, and swallowed. Finally, finding my voice, I replied, "Getting hurt." But that wasn't it, was it? I was afraid of Shane, of what he did to me. I was afraid that every man was just like him, only out for one thing, and would do anything to get it. But I couldn't tell Axel that. It was too personal. He'd just have to settle for generalization.

He blinked, his expression understanding. "I won't hurt you," he said, emphasizing every word, as if trying to hammer the message into my brain.

"How do I know I can trust you?" I asked, voicing my thoughts.

For the first time in almost the entire day, Axel smirked. "I guess you'll just have to decide that for yourself." His sentence slowly died to a whisper as he leaned forward, coming closer and closer, until he kissed me.

I froze, expecting the worst, the usual: groping hands, knocking teeth, fingernails grazing my skin and scalp. But none of that happened. All that occured was a simple kiss, soft, fragile, like how a girl's first kiss should be.

A girl's first kiss... Mine was from Shane, though I never truly called it my first kiss. But this one... Yes, this could be my first kiss. I'd love for it to be.

All the tension in my body was sucked into the ground and I kissed him back, unsure of what to do with my arms, or the rest of me for that matter. Thankfully, though, my confusion was ended soon. Axel pulled away and looked into my eyes, his hand that rested on my cheek moving to brush aside my bangs, traveling down to the scarf I still wore. I swallowed as it lingered there, and knew that he knew what was under there, or was at least guessing.

He took a step back, his hands falling back to his side, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I'd already exposed so much today - figuratively speaking. I didn't want _that_ to be the subject of a follow-up conversation.

"You wanna go out sometime?" he asked suddenly.

I blinked, struck by the bluntness of the question. "Uhm, sure."

He smirked again, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Great, I'll pick you up tomorrow."

Wait- what? "Hold on," I said, stopping him as he turned around. "Pick me up from where? You don't know where I live."

He shrugged. "Find me on Facebook. Tell me there." He turned around, strolling down the hall.

"Wait! When?" I called after him.

"Seven," he said back, and then he was gone.

I sighed, returning to the search for my Zoology book.

"Oh, by the way..."

I turned again to find Axel sticking his head out from behind the stairwell. "Cute outfit," he said, winking.

I blushed and smiled, looking down out of embarrassment. He laughed and left once more, leaving me with an odd, fluttery feeling in my chest.

_Then you came around me, the walls just disappeared, nothing to surround me, and keep me from my fears_

I never did find that Zoology book, and I was so late for class anyway that I just decided to skip. In a frenzied, very girly fashion, I raced to the bathroom and whipped out my cell phone. I went to My Messages, clicked Create New Message, and click-clacked away on the keyboard.

**U'll nvr guess wat just happened!**

I hit the Ok button, searched through my Directory and chose Kairi, then hit Send. I knew she'd text back almost immidiately, so when I recieved a message from Riku not even three seconds later, I was a little confused.

**Where r u?**

Oh, right, he was in my Zoology class. I hurriedly typed back, and in the middle of the message was interrupted my another one. I finished mine and hit Send.

**Bathroom. I'm skipping o.o cuz I'm such a bad kid**

I checked the message I recieved, and smiled when I saw Kairi's name.

**What? Pandas?**

I rolled my eyes and responded.

**No silly. Apparently I'm going on a date w/ Axel 2mro!**

I tapped my foot impatiently as I waited for her to text back. I didn't have to wait long.

**Axel? Is he that guy you were lusting at yesterday?**

I laughed a little and blushed, realizing it was true. Before I could respond, I got a text from Riku.

**lol I always knew u were a closet rebel. C u later.**

I smiled, closed the message, and started a new one for Kairi.

**hehe yea. We just talked & all of a sudden he asked me out! I'm supposed 2 message him on FB later 2day so he knows where I live**

Twenty seconds later, and my phone vibrated.

**Omg that's so cute! I love a spontaneous guy *dreamy sigh***

Response:

**yea, he's a lil off-beat but he's a nice guy. I'm so excited! =D Wat should I wear?**

Kairi:

**Omg we have to hang out later 2day to pick out the perfect emsemble!**

Without even thinking about Shane, I quickly replied:

**Definitely!**

_I've never felt like this before; I'm naked around you, does it show?_

Axel was with his friends again after school, and he waved at me as Kairi and I passed. I smiled and waved back, and he made the 'call-me' sign to remind me to Facebook him. I smiled and shook my head, mouthing "You're so lame!" He just shrugged, and then we turned the corner and he was gone.

Kairi turned to me the second he was out of sight. "He's so cute! In a sort of rebel kind of way," she gushed.

"I know, right?" I sighed and faked a swoon, which she laughed at. We geeked out all the way home, talking about what the date would be like, what the kiss was like, if he'd kiss me again - we both agreed he would, if it was a movie date, which it probably was.

When we reached my house, the door opened before I could touch the knob.

Shane stood before us, in all his green baseball cap glory, a ball of twine in his hand. His eyes went straight to me, but after a heartbeat found Kairi, and the twine disappeared behind his back.

"Kairi," he said with a welcoming smile, and stepped aside to let us come in. "What a surprise."

"Hey, Mr. Bane," she said, completely oblivious to what he held behind him, and the intense stare he'd given me just before he'd seen her.

He'd been planning something for when I came home. He did that sometimes, I guess trying to be spontaneous, 'sweeping me off my feet' when I got home to have his way with me. The ball of twine was his cheap version of kinky; he felt the standard fuzzy pink handcuffs were a waste of money. Why not use something just lying around the house? was his reasoning.

"Me and Jaden were just gonna pick out an outfit for tomorrow," she said, smiling and elbowing me in the side.

Shane's eyebrows raised, but his smile still stayed in place. "Tomorrow, huh? What's going on tomorrow?" His question was directed to Kairi, but his eyes were on me, his smile growing more menacing by the second.

Before Kairi could open her mouth again, I answered for her. "We'll talk later, 'kay, Papa?" I said quickly, ushering Kairi to the next room. "Too much to do!" I tossed him a wide smile, but both of us knew it was just for show.

He frowned for a moment, then smiled once more. "Of course. You girls come down if you get hungry."

"Know what?" Kairi said, and I silently cursed her. "I'm actually a little hungry. You go on ahead, okay?"

Eyeing my father, I scowled at the way he looked at her. Even though I knew he wouldn't do anything to her, just the thought of my best friend in the same room with this monster made my stomach turn. "No, that's fine, I'll get us some chips. I'll meet you upstairs." I walked away before she could object, and she left the room to travel up the stairs.

As I passed by him, Shane grabbed my shoulders and pulled me against him roughly. His lips at my ear, he whispered, "This morning was a joke. As soon as she leaves, we'll get down to business." He finished this thought with a nip at the lobe of my ear, and I shivered, grinding my teeth together.

_Please, Kairi,_ I thought, _stay as long as you can._

_You see right through me and I can't hide; I'm naked around you, and it feels so right_


	4. Chapter 4: Snow White Queen

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.**

A/N: Hardcore graphic rape, self-harm, and lots of tears. Prepare thyself.

Song used: Snow White Queen - Evanescence

**Anything For You**

**Chapter Four**

**Snow White Queen**

Shane left me then, going to his room upstairs, probably to find something on TV to occupy a few hours, biding his time until Kairi left. I took my time getting the chips, hoping that if I dawdled she'd stay longer, or that it would make time last longer. Anything to keep me away from Shane, at least for an extra minute.

I shut the door to my room after entering, holding the large plastic bag of Lays in my arms, as if as a peace offering. "Sorry I took so long," I told her, faking a sheepish grin, my heart pounding, feeling eyes bore holes into my back, even though no one was there.

Kairi waved her hand dismissively. "No biggie," she said, patting a spot beside her on my bed where she sat, cross-legged. I smiled and sat down, and immediately she turned to me and looked at me expectantly. "So...? What's this Axel guy like? Tell me everything!"

I giggled and couldn't stop myself from blushing, remembering that kiss at my locker. How silly of me to be afraid of him, when he was that sweet when he kissed me for the first time? Then I thought of Shane, twiddling his thumbs in his room, counting the minutes, and wondered if maybe I was right to be afraid. Not of Axel, per say, but of what Shane would do to me when he found out about Axel. It resembled a committed, monogamous relationship; he and I. I don't recall him ever telling me about, or showing signs of, having sex with another, more suitable, woman. Chivalry at its finest.

I swallowed, hoping my thoughts didn't read on my face. "Well, you've already seen him, so I don't really have to describe -"

"No, no, I wanna hear how _you_ describe him!" she gushed. "Everyone has different ways of describing people, and since you like him so much, I wanna hear it from your point of view. Tell me... how his eyes glitter, how chiseled his face his..." She trailed off, waggling her eyebrows at me and smirking.

I laughed and shoved her playfully, but what she was saying was true. His eyes had a sort of glimmering quality to them, as if there was something deeper - under the surface - going on in his head, and his face and jawline looked like they were carved from marble and dubbed a masterpiece by their creator. "Well, there are the things you just said," I explained, rolling my eyes at her giggles. "And... he's sort of skater, I guess. He wears really tight clothes, and he's really skinny, but he's got some muscle there;" - muscle that I just wanna rake my tongue over - "he's really funny, and charming, and childish, " - but I bet there's a man hidden there somewhere - "and... this is gonna sound weird, but I feel like he can almost read my mind, you know? Like I don't even have to say anything to him but he'll know how I feel, what I'm thinking, all my secrets..." My voice trailed off as his eyes appeared before me, smiling, and his soft, perfect lips met mine. My heart was pounding again, and this time it had nothing to do with Shane.

"Wow," Kairi said, though her voice was soft in my ear. All I could see, hear, feel, and think about was that kiss... I wanted more.

"... for him, aren't you?"

I blinked and turned back to Kairi. "Sorry, what?"

She laughed a knowing laugh, as if I'd just missed something. "I said, you're so hot for him!"

I gaped at her. "W-W-What?!" I stammered.

She laughed again, shaking her head at me and gesturing toward my face. "You're blushing like crazy! Don't deny it!"

I squeaked and covered my face up with my hands. "I'm blushing?" I asked meekly, the sound muffled by my fingers.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed!" Kairi smiled sweetly, ending her fit of giggles. "So you want his pants, okay. I say go for it!"

My mouth opened and closed repeatedly, and for a few moments all I could utter were sounds that resembled words. "I do not want his pants!" I argued, finally.

She held up her hands in surrender, smiling in a way that I knew she didn't believe me. "Whatever you say!" she sang, getting up from my bed and making her way to my dresser. "Let's get down to business." I shivered at her words, Shane's voice running through my mind, and pushed it away as best I could. "We need to find the perfect outfit for tomorrow." She turned to me, hands on her hips. "Get ready to try on just about every piece of clothing you have," she warned me.

I laughed, praying it sounded genuine. "I'm ready," I said. _Good,_ I thought. _The longer I take trying on clothes, the longer I have until..._

I didn't dare finish the thought.

_Stop light, lock the door, don't look back; undress in the dark, and hide from you, all of you_

After at least three hours of trying on clothes, picking out a top ten, redeciding, and judging, we finally found the perfect ensemble for just about anywhere he could take me - at least, places that were first date friendly. I would wear a casual red dress with a cinch waist, a sweetheart neckline, and cap sleeves, a silver lacy bra resembling the one I wore today, matching panties - "In case it gets really heavy," Kairi said, which I promptly smacked her for - and silver flats. We agreed that my red dress would make me look great with him, and compliment his crazy hair.

We exchanged a high five and some hip-touches in celebration, but the cheery atmosphere was short-lived. She got a text soon after from her mother, telling her that she was on her way and Kairi should wait outside for her.

The sleek blue Mazda pulled up to my driveway just as the two of us stepped off the bottom step of the stairs, and I bid her farewell, making tiny comments here and there in an effort to strike up a conversation and halt her leaving, but eventually her mother sent her an irritated text, and Kairi had to hurry to the car.

I stood at the door as long as I could, but I knew the longer I dallied, the harsher my punishment would be when I finally faced him. Better sooner than later. Wishfully never, but I shouldn't let myself have that kind of hope.

The trek upstairs and to Shane's room was the longest in my life, as it always was when something like this arose. I reached his door and took a deep breath before raising my hand to knock.

The door opened suddenly and a hand clasped around my wrist, roughly dragging me into the room and shutting the door behind me. I gasped and stumbled, sliding on my knees and whimpering at the awful feeling of carpet burn.

"Get up," Shane commanded, his voice low and gravely. I did as I was told, and he spun me around so my back was facing him, pulling me close. He drew my arms behind my back and held my wrists with one hand, the other grabbing my hair close to my scalp and twisting my head up, making me yelp in pain. "Smile for the camera," he growled into my ear, and I noticed a digital video recorder perched on top of the TV, red light blinking. He did this occasionally.

I swallowed hard and my heart missed a beat. Whenever he brought out the camera, it meant that something "special" was going to happen, and usually meant tears for me.

"So," Shane said, removing his hand from my hair to tear off my panties in one swift motion. I looked anywhere but the camera, unwilling to let my shame be captured onto the memory card. I nearly fell as he suddenly forced my legs open with his, positioning his feet on the inner side of either foot of mine, stepping on my toes to make sure I couldn't move. "Tell me about this boy of yours."

I shivered. He couldn't have figured that out on his own, could he? Well, he did have three hours to think about it, and he wasn't really as stupid as he seemed. "Th-There's no boy," I lied, hoping to God that he'd believe me.

He chuckled. "I think you're lying," he purred, his lips brushing against my ear, and moved his free hand between my legs to shove his fingers inside me.

I gasped at the intrusion, whimpering and squirming as he started pumping them up and down, and he tugged at my arms, making me be still.

"How 'bout telling me now?" he offered, adding another long finger to the mix.

I ground my teeth to keep from yelping, and shut my eyes tight, filled to the brim with self-loathing. Because no matter how much I hated this, and how _wrong_ it was, my body was human, and it liked what he was doing. It liked it a lot.

Shane could feel me getting wet for him, and started digging deeper. "What's he like, Jay-Jay? Is he... tall? Muscular? Does he have... eyes to _die_ for?" He hooked his fingers at the word 'die', and I bit my lip. Hard. "I bet you wish it was him doing this to you. Don't you?"

_Oh, more than you know, you bastard._ His fingers brushed my clit, and I couldn't stand it anymore; I moaned, deep in my throat. He caught on to this, and did it again, and again, until I could hardly catch my breath anymore.

"Well, tough luck. I know you better than he ever can. Do you think anybody else but me could do this for you? Give this kind of pleasure to you?" Obediently, I shook my head so I wouldn't get hit, but mostly it was because I wanted - my _body_ wanted him to move faster. My hips bucked against his fingers in time with his strokes, but he didn't seem to be willing to change anything.

"Hm?" he asked innocently. "You want something?"

Don't say it, don't say it, don't give him the satisfaction... Oh, dammit, say it now! "Faster," I pleaded in a breath.

I felt him smile, and he ground his now bulging erection against my backside. "What was that? Couldn't hear ya."

You bastard. "Faster," I said louder, frustration in my voice. _Faster, so I can get out of here faster._

He laughed and complied, penetrating me deeper and and moving faster, his palm brushing against my clit with every stroke, until I was nearly crying out in pleasure. "I want you to say his name when you come," he told me, snarling into my ear. "I want you to think about him, call for him, scream his name to make him hear you." He pumped harder until it almost hurt, but I welcomed the pain, throwing my head back and moaning loudly, reaching higher and higher, until -

"Axel!" I screamed obediently, wishing he would hear, so he would come for me, save me, take me away, and fuck me himself.

Satisfied, Shane withdrew his hand from me almost immediately, shoving me down on my knees and pushing down on my back, until my cheek pressed against the worn carpet of his room, my naked rear in the air. I was terrified for a moment that he would try anal for the first time with me then, for the camera and position made sense, but he simply tied the twine he'd had before around my wrists, so tight that it cut into my skin with every uncomfortable twitch I made.

He drew me up just as suddenly as he'd pushed me down, and threw me to his bed. I stumbled, still blind from the force of my orgasm, and fell backwards onto the mattress, the room spinning.

Shane pulled me up further onto his bed until the crown of my head was smashed painfully against the backboard and left for a moment, giving me a few seconds to catch my breath.

_What_ am_ I?_ I yelled at myself, clenching my teeth. _How can anyone _enjoy_ such _torment_?! I'm sick. I'm a sick masochist. I deserve to die for actually liking something like this. For loving it as much as my body tells me I do._

He returned soon, and I had to strain my neck to see him. He carried in one hand something that resembled a cylinder - though it was dark, and I couldn't quite tell - and a riding crop. My mouth dropped open, and my head fell back onto the bed. I couldn't believe this. Out of all the sadistic, disgusting -

Shane grabbed the front of my bra through my shirt and pulled me forward until I sat up, and I brought my knees to my sides to be more comfortable. Before I knew what was going on, he'd unzipped his pants and was drawing my face close to his hardened cock, practically shoving it down my throat. I gagged and tried to move away, but he hit my ass hard with the riding crop, illiciting a cry from me, and I bent forward once again, flicking my tongue over his head.

Many minutes of this passed, sucking and licking him while he beat me, even if I complied, and strings of obscene words filling the air. He called me awful names and told me what to do, slapping me hard like a horse when I didn't do it immediately. Tears streamed down my face and my sobs began to form a strong coexistence with my cries of pain.

Finally he pulled away, only to strip off the rest of my clothing and push me down on my back, kneading my breasts forcefully with his hands. His nails scratched my skin, but I couldn't hold back moans as he rubbed my nipples between his fingers. One of his hands left my body, but my eyes were closed too tightly to see where it went.

He spread my legs once more and, just when I thought he was finally going to end this, something hard and cold was slammed inside me, making me gasp and whimper. I heard a click and a sort of whirring sound, and the mechanism started vibrating and pumping inside of me, slowly, its strokes shallow, though that soon changed.

"The fuck is wrong with this thing?" I heard Shane grumble, and I sniffled discreetly, though he must've heard it, for he hit me across the cheek with the riding crop. I heard a series of soft clicks, and with every sound the machine moved faster and delved deeper, and I bit my lip until it bled to stop myself from screaming in pleasure.

"There we go," he said, seemingly pleased with himself, and crawled over me, until his knees were at either side of my throat, and he pressed his cock against my lips until I had to open my mouth. I tried my damndest not to gag as he pumped himself into my mouth, shoving himself down my esophogas. His strokes alternated with the vibrator inside my crotch, and I cried as I moaned, hating myself more at this moment than I had in my entire life.

Shane's movements became erratic, and he pushed himself all the way down my throat as he emptied his load, groaning my name into the air thick with sweat and grief. He left then, and stood beside the bed, looking on as I got fucked by his machine. After a while, he turned up the power, until my moans became screams, and I was wildly bucking against the contraption buried in between my hips. I came hard, screaming for more, and Shane gladly obliged. He tore the machine out of me so fast that I yelped in pain, and impaled me with his cock, wringing another scream from my throat.

He cursed at me, calling me a fucking whore for loving this, and I became someone who wasn't me. I had an out of body experience, watching myself as he rode me, telling him yes, he was right, I was a fucking whore and he should punish me. He should fuck me so hard, so hard, yes, yes, _yes, yes, fuck me, god yes!_

And he did. He fucked me so hard it hurt, and my orgasm hit me violently as he drove himself as deep inside me as he could reach to spill his seed into my womb.

He left as soon as he was done, without bothering to ride it out, and I disgusted myself by bringing my own fingers to my sore and aching pussy, making my sinful pleasure last as long as it could.

I lay there after it ended, waiting for Shane to come back and release me from the twine. I knew he would. He liked to fuck me, but not sleep with me. Said it was too intimate.

He came back and cut the twine, pushing me out of his bed. "See?" he asked as I walked out the door. "You screamed for your Axel boy, but he didn't come for you. He never will."

I hesitated at the door, waiting to see if he'd say anything else, but when he didn't, I left, crying silent tears at his words.

_You belong to me, my Snow White Queen; there's nowhere to run, so let's just get it over with_

I sat in my bathroom, on the covered toilet seat, sobbing fervently into my hands, drowning out the sound so as not to wake the snoring Shane. The area between my thighs was still throbbing in pain, and a bottle of Midol and the standard birth control sat side by side on the counter. My shoulders shook, my whole body shook, and I cursed my soul to damnation at what I had done, all I had said. I wanted to believe a demon had taken over my body, but I knew it wasn't the truth. I myself was the demon in question, and therefore should burn in hell forever to pay for my sins.

_Mother,_ I prayed, _please forgive me. I can't believe myself! Everything that happened... and I _enjoyed_ it!! Am I sick, Mother? Am I evil? And if I am, then will I ever see you again? If you're in heaven, and I'm in hell, will I be stuck with him forever, never to see you ever again? I don't _want_ that, Mother! There has to be something you can do! Please, why won't you answer me?!_

"Why won't you answer me?" I sobbed, my voice broken. "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to- leave- me- he-he-herrrrreeeee!!!!"

I sniffled and wiped my nose and eyes with the back of my hand, fully aware that I was a blubbering mess. I wrapped my mother's fuzzy pink robe tighter around myself in an effort to feel her, and know that she didn't think I was sick. It wasn't working. She probably hated me as much as I did now, if she was watching.

I opened the drawer to my side, wincing at how loud the sound that followed was, and brought out a razor. I'd never before used it, but always had it. Maybe this time...

I pressed the metal to my wrist, staring hard at it, concentrating, as if mindpower in itself could make the blood appear, and the pain go away.

I'd never been able to muster up enough courage to cut before. I'd always heard about it, and some kids at my school even did it. They said it made things better, made everything hurt less, at least for a while. I'd take even thirty seconds free of pain.

I pressed harder, my face screwing up in pain, and started moving the razor back and forth, in small strokes. I could feel it cut through every layer of skin, and the tears came faster the closer I got to the blue line of pain-free paradise.

I cried out as I nicked myself particularly deep with the sharp corner, and blood pearled at the site of the wound. I clenched my teeth together and threw the razor away, sobbing even more. I couldn't do it. I was too scared.

What an awful creature I was! I relished pain when it came in the form of incest, but when it came by way of traditional means, I stupidly ran away. I was briefly reminded of Alice in Wonderland, when the Cheshire Cat explains to Alice that, since dogs growl when they are angry and wag their tails when they are happy, and he as a cat growls when he is happy and wags his tail when he is angry, he is therefore mad. I must be just as mad as he, then. Any _normal_ person would feel the exact opposite.

I slouched, too tired to cry anymore, the tears simply running down my cheeks with no soundtrack. Why had I told him Axel's name? What if Shane decided Axel was a threat and started looking for him? I had no doubts that Axel could hold his own in a fair fight, but Shane wouldn't fight fair. He never did, not with me or anyone else.

Axel... I could see his face again. That smirk of his, the equivalent of a smile in his book; his stunning eyes that could see through a brick wall if they tried; his muscular body and soft, soft lips; his gentlemanly hands that I could imagine could be so un-gentlemanly if given the chance...

His smirk came to my mind, his eyes glittering in the afternoon sun, and he made a dorky 'call-me' sign with his index and pinkie fingers.

_That's right,_ I thought. I still had to Facebook him.

I sighed. On the one hand, I wanted so badly to see him again, to have him take me away with him somewhere, anywhere, and we could be together and I could kiss him and look forever into his amazing eyes. But on the other hand, if I saw him tomorrow and he picked me up here, Shane would see him, and I could run the risk of Axel getting hurt, and myself as well.

I'm not sure what was the decision-maker on this one. Perhaps my selfish need to see Axel again outweighed my care for his safety, or maybe it was just out of spite for Shane, but I stood then, made my way to my bedroom, logged on to my old crappy laptop, and typed into the address bar: .com.

The page loaded slowly, and I patiently waited to type in my e-mail to log in. I clicked the search bar, then my shoulders slumped when I realized I'd never gotten his last name. How was I going to find him now?

I dejectedly clicked Home, figuring I might as well check my notifications and group invites before I went to sleep, and saw the green writing on the side that signified a friend request. I clicked it, and my face lit up when I saw a black and white profile pic of Axel, the sun shining from behind his head, creating a really cool-looking silhouette, his eyes the only thing colored in the whole picture. I gained a new respect for him - _I had no idea he was an artist!_ - and clicked the Accept button, hurriedly typing a message for him. I gave him my address and phone number, told him to text me, and signed it with a winking face. I smiled and clicked the Send button, somehow not noticing my drastic change in mood until the laptop was turned off and under my bed again. My sore pussy was the only thing that jolted me back into reality, and I cuddled in on myself.

I jumped slightly as my phone vibrated under my pillow, and I flipped it open, a text from an unknown number lighting up the screen. I opened it, curious.

**C u tomoro. 7 ;-)**

**-Axel**

I smiled again, and texted back:

**Can't wait**

_Soon I know you'll see you're just like me; don't scream anymore, my love, 'cause all I want is you_

A/N: Wow, I _so_ did not mean for the rape scene to be that ridiculous. Well, that was my first ever rape scene guys! Did I do good? heheh hope it wasn't awful, and I hope you guys aren't annoyed by her random happy-sad-happy mood swings. On to Chapter Five! I've basically got this whole thing mapped out now! I'm so excited! Please review, and make me happy! =)


End file.
